2023-07-03 Almond Us
- Brush: Zenith Chubby B27
- Razor: Goodfella's Smile Kamisori Shavette #KAMISORI
- Lather: Cella - Milano Crema Da Barba
- Post Shave: Proraso - Eucalyptus & Menthol (Green)
- Fragrance: Giorgio Armani - Acqua di Gio Profumo
Challenge Accepted:
My brain is an unreliable narrator, so forgive me if I'm misremembering
anything.
u/RedMosquitoMM's victory last year struck me as different than what I had
come to expect from the Games, especially as regards what it takes to
come out on top.
I seem to recall it pointed out that he didn't do all of the things.
Nor did he engage in outrageous shenanigans.
What he did do, I recall, is be consistent.
And thoughtful.
And long-winded.
I kid about that last point, but I think I remember it being pointed out that
length was a consistent property of his posts, in particular in his approach
to FOF.
Meanwhile, this year's rules seem to emphasize brevity. Is it to discourage
imitation of Mosquito's reported verbosity? Is it motivated by regret over
that one challenge that actually encouraged lengthy, rambly posts?
Who knows (aside from those who wrote the rules, of course)?
So there's the dilemma: Maintain interest and capture the audience,
but do it concisely (college papers and skirts, right?).
That is a challenge, indeed! I am nothing if not long-winded, myself.
Believe it or not, I've really been restraining myself from letting these get
too long! Whether or not I'm successful is up to, well, the djudges.
Relevant Post Shave and Fragrance:
Oops! All Italian!
Brush:
It sure is Italian! Much like yesterday's MMOC, this brush saw me
through last August. Oh, what a horrific month.
Not because of the MMOC, mind you, or even really because of the brush.
No, it was the face-lathering. Dear god, the face-lathering...
More on that later on in the Games, when that inevitable Challenge comes.
Razor:
Ah, the Italian kamisori shavette.
My original plan was to save this razor for a later day, but
a) nothing precludes me from using any given piece of hardware on multiple days
and b) it helps me have all of the stuff today be Italian!
I don't have such a bowl, though; that actually strikes me as oddly
specific, but I concede that it's no less oddly specific than my bowl being
Japanese, which it is.
I guess that's still a thematic connection, if not tenuous, linking the
bowl and razor, eh?
In any case, it's a shavette and it shaves like a shavette.
Read: unnecessarily hazardous.
I think that a major benefit to the fixed handle vs. the folding style is that
I find that a folding handle does little more than get in the way and limit
maneuverability.
The first time I used a shavette, which was of a folding type and during last
year's Games, I quickly found that it was often helpful to extend the handle
fully and hold it as though it were fixed, anyway.
And sure, the scales protect the blade when it's folded, but that's less of a
concern when it comes to shavettes, isn't it?
And it's definitely not a factor while actually using the thing.
What's the saying? "Everyone with an opinion is an asshole"?
Wait, no, it's "Keep your asshole to yourself."
Or "Keep your asshole in your pants"?
That's not right, either, is it? Am I getting warmer?
Oh, I got it:
"I'm just, like, an asshole, man!" Er, hmm...
#FOF
Lather:
Ah, Cella. A clear classic with a classic almond scent.
If I'm being honest–and I have no recent not to be–I don't care for it.
The lather is decent enough, but I don't really get the appeal of the almond
scent.
While it might be exaggerating to call it sickly-sweet or unpleasant,
it borders on some level of sweetness and I don't see its general appeal as a
scent.
My understanding is that almond itself is a classic in Italian barbery, but
I just can't imagine someone smelling it and thinking,
"Yeah, I want to smell like that! Sexy!"
That said, I think it makes for an interesting starting point in the
context and interest of #FOF.
You see, I don't oppose the maligned trickhole because I also hold the asshole
that any given scent created by a perfumer is an oeuvre and should be
appreciated as such. Howver, a mono-scented thing such as Cella is simplistic
enough that we (or maybe just I, with my unrefined sniffer) can play
perfumer-in-the-washroom for a monent.
Let's give it a try!
Post Shave:
Off to a roaring start with the Proraso aftershave, which does not seem to
share the eucalyptus prominence that is evident from its corresponding
soap-in-a-bowl counterpart.
It did go on the face with a subtle menthol-y whisper, that was nonetheless
short-lived. Well, no one said the menthol of Proraso was particularly strong,
anyway.
Verdict: I'm still smellin' like a
miniature candy dairy farm.
Fragrance:
Okay, moving on to the Acqua di Gio, Armami describes it as "a
woody aromatic cologne combinging bergamot with rosemary essence and incense
notes".
Side note; A few years ago, I happened to nab a spritz of this while walking
through a department store with a friend. Said friend, who is generally quite
apprehensive about fragrances due to the risk of overbearing scents, took
quite a liking to the aroma that I had spontaneously acquired during that
shopping trip.
So, good start for Acqua di Gio, and it smells every bit as promising out of
the vial.
I am quickly discovering that a major challenge to properly assessing these
combinations of scents is that I–as with people in general–am unable to
get a proper sense of how the scents intermingle on my own self. As a result,
I may have overcompensated with the amount of Acqua di Gio I used,
in a desperate attempt to overpower the almond.
Verdict: Acqua di Gio seems to have overcome the almond, and hopefully I
havent't doused myself in an off-putting amount of the stuff!
In seriousness, I don't think there's risk of that, but I have the impression
that, while Acqua di Gio is staying, the almond is already fading, much to
my pleasant relief, and the actual fragrance gets to be what it was meant to be.
#photocontest
Photo: Food.
Let's talk for a moment about the Cella Milano guy.
As we all know, the Cella Milano guy is–incontrovertibly–Santa Claus.
We also know that
Santa Claus is a Lovecraftian horror.
What's that? You don't know this?
Look at Babbo Natale's smiling face!
Seriously, look at that face.
Look at his jaw and chin and see that there is no humanly-conceivable way
that that jaw and chin can have a form in this reality!
That smile is sinister and knowing! He is up to something beneath that
sudsy veil! He may be reaching, from his chin,
through and beneath our plane of existence, doing what only he knows!
Reaching into the minds of the unsuspecting, insignificant beings of our
universe, destroying their minds and lives for–is it amusement?
Curiosity? A mere absent-minded fiddling?
The Cella Santa Claus man cannot exist, but he is there! Do you not see?!
Look and see that it is wrong!