July 3, 2023 – LG Day 3 – Big Almonday
- Brush: Stirling Synthetic Li’l Brudder #FAUXFUR
- Razor: Gillette Slim Adjustable #DIAL
- Blade: Sharp Star
- Lather: Stirling Soap Co. – Almond Creme
- Post Shave: Barrister and Mann – Amazelnut
- Fragrance: Zoologist Perfumes – Chipmunk
Almonday, yet again. Second year in a row. It’s happening, folks. Big Almond is here.
They’ve been slowly infiltrating the community for years. Haven’t noticed? That’s the point. When someone new to wet shaving asks how much soap they’re supposed to scoop into their shaving bowl, what’s the answer? A chunk about the size of an almond. Cella, a “classic” soap, tried to get distance from Big Almond by creating an aftershave with a totally different scent. And what happened? Do you see Cella making waves in the artisan soap community? Does anybody even talk about Cella anymore? They were shut down, and Big Almond moved on.
That’s just the tip of the iceberg, man. Here we are, in the Lather Games, the premiere wet shaving event not just for our little subreddit, but really for the world, and Big Almond has showed up again. Almond Creme. Almond Leather. u/RedMosquitoMM’s soap of choice, GD Almond Vanilla. Big Almond is everywhere, man. You just have to open your eyes.
I mean, did u/RedMosquitoMM even really win last year? Who’s to say it wasn’t rigged from the start? We’re talking about someone who’s on the record saying, and I quote, “I like Almond”. Doesn’t that sound like collusion to you? Sure, he writes exquisite fragrance descriptions, takes stunning, professional photos for his SOTDs, and even describes his coffee down to the minutiae. More importantly, he’s a beloved member of the community. But who’s to say that it wasn’t Big Almond making us believe this all along?
What, so I could just say that my shave today was inspired by nuts but not almonds, and I’d still have a chance? I could explain that the sweet marzipan of Almond Creme was accentuated and made better by Amazelnut, and then balanced out by the subtle spiciness and woodsiness of Chipmunk, bringing a delightful dry-down that avoids the cloyingness and divisiveness that almond soaps so often bring. #FOF But this doesn’t fit into the narrative that Big Almond wants you to hear. This isn’t the only reason Big Almond won’t let me win these games, though.
I have evidence that Will of Barrister and Mann is now just another lackey of Big Almond. You were all distracted by the infamous Four Horsemen. You were led to believe that Will had his fun, made some weird scents, and is now going to give the people what they want. Wrong! Wake up, sheeple! As we speak, Will is running an underground testing facility, forcing people to shave with almonds, brush their teeth with almonds, make almonds all they can think about. I have photographic proof! Before we know it, the only scents available in the entire artisan scene will be almond.
We must resist their attempts to take over our hobby. We must stand up for the diversity of scents in wet shaving. And we must never forget that almond is not the only way to shave.
Join me in the fight against Big Almond. Together, we can preserve the diversity of scents in wet shaving and keep our hobby free from corporate influence.
#NotMyScent #DownWithBigAlmond #FreeTheShave
#FOF