June 5, 2024 - Drugstore Day
- Brush: Summer Break Soaps “Mood Indigo” Synthetic, 28mm
- Razor: Assured For Men TTO Safety Razor
- Blade: Assured For Men Blade (1)
- Lather: Bolero - Cedar Wood and Eucalyptus - Cream
- Post Shave: Bolero - Cedar Wood and Eucalyptus - After Shave Lotion
- Fragrance: Catie’s Bubbles - Cape Cod Cranberry
Daily Write-Up
Using this stuff year after year (why don’t I throw it away?!) is bad enough. But now I need to try to use a brush with it and bowl lather, since I normally face lather?
Ok.
I put a generous amount of the Cedar Wood and Eucalyptus Shaving Cream in my bowl. Sadly, there’s still enough left for 1 or 2 more years.
I attempted to whip it into a lather.. It really didn’t want to lather up, but I managed to get something passable.
Then I scraped the hair off my face (one pass only, I’m not a masochist) with the Dollar Tree razor and blade. It’s just so bad. There’s very little slickness from the soap. And this unmarked blade is not sharp at all. Lots of blade chatter from the plastic TTO razor. 1/10 shave, 1/10 with rice.
Soap Theme Justification
The soap was purchased at Dollar Tree, which is the store nearest to my home that sells shaving items. Well, except that there is an AutoZone next door. But they only sell shaving soap, not razors.
Post-Shave and Fragrance Relevance Notes
Dickholed the Cedar Wood and Eucalyptus. Riffed off the soap and aftershave (that were allegedly cedar wood, but they pretty much just smell like chemicals) with more cedar. I had planned on using HoM Tobacconist, but in my first audible of the games, I felt more like using CCC, which also has cedar as a prominent note.
Now that shave is done, it’s probably time to return to alternate-universe OnionMiasma, to see how he’s progressing….
Prequel 1 here
Prequel 2 here
He readies himself in front of the mirror, taking care to not nick himself with the plastic razor. This is one of his proudest possessions. It helped him get to where he is. The fake chrome has flaked off, leaving only the plastic underneath now, but as he deftly removes the hair from his face, he’s forced to think about how far he’s come. It’s graduation day. He can finally put his old life behind him.
In the past few years, he’s been focused on two things, graduating with honors so he could move on to having a fruitful career, and becoming the internet’s biggest wet shaving expert.
For the first item he ended up changing his major to journalism. He felt that AI was just a flash in the pan, and people are obviously going to shift back to newspapers. He doesn’t have a job yet, but is continuing to flex his writing muscles by staying engaged in various wet shaving forums.
There are tons of them, and he’s active in almost all. The only one he’s never been a fan of are the weirdos over at Reddit. He checked it out, but quickly was told he wasn’t welcome due to his affinity for a specific brand of product that he’s a paid ambassador for.
It’s that brand’s forum he’s most proud of. He built the Phoenix Artisan Phans Facebook group from nothing to 221 active users. In the past year he’s gone from being proud to have met the founder to being a paid representative of the company.
He finished up his shave, rubbed in the Bolero Cedar Wood and Eucalyptus aftershave into his face, and grabbed his cap and gown.
It was a short walk across town to the stadium where graduation was held, and Onion used this time to continue to mull over his options for post-graduation work. His top choice would be to combine his degree with his passion. Maybe he could write a series of reviews looking at all the different soaps using a specific scent. Nah, that would be painfully boring to read.
Maybe he could start his own blog. Or do some Youtube videos as one of those new-fangled Shavefluencers.
The options abound.
But deep in thought, he didn’t notice when he stepped into the street that it wasn’t empty. He noticed a vehicle coming towards him, but noted it was in the other lane, so he slowed down to let them by. At the last moment, the yellow Jeep Wrangler swerved towards him in order to purposefully strike, and hit him straight on with a sickening crunch.
Onion flew to the side of the road, bleeding in multiple places. He looked up to see the Jeep speeding away, and he noticed the spare tire – a Phoenix Artisan Accoutrements cover adorned the extra rubber.
As he was bleeding out… his mind raced. Who in the hobby have I upset? Who did this? Why now? Was it because I slept with Doug’s wife? Is it one of the Reddit fanatics out to silence me?
He was unable to answer these questions as darkness descended upon his senses for the final time.