July 28, 2023 - Cheapest Day
- Brush: None
- Razor: Assured For Men TTO Safety Razor
- Blade: Assured For Men Blade (1)
- Lather: Bolero - Cedar Wood and Eucalyptus - Cream
- Post Shave: Bolero - Cedar Wood and Eucalyptus - After Shave Lotion
- Fragrance: Mirage - CEO Pour Homme EdT
Daily Challenge/Write-Up:
For today’s shave, I used all the items that I procured for last year’s drug store day. I PIF’d the items from this year’s drug store day (so I wouldn’t be forced to use them today and mess up my brands points), but I wasn’t smart enough to jettison these items as well, and I’m stuck with them. The Bolero Cream and After Shave were two for $1.25, and appear to be so bad that they have been discontinued by Dollar Tree. Pity. I went searching for a suitable frag to go with it, and found this copy of Hugo Boss (my high school cologne!!!) at Five Below for the low price of $5 for a whole bottle of EdT. The razor is absolute garbage; the blade is worse. But the razor was $1.25, and included the 5 unmarked blades. I’d honestly rather be using a disposable, but I used my last one with the motor oil.
Speaking of last year’s drug store day - I’m wondering how alternate-universe OnionMiasma is doing….
First chapter here
It has been 419 days since the accident. Onion absent-mindedly rubs his right shoulder and grimaces at the pain. 419 days since he was lucky enough to have an ambulance feet away as he plowed his small Ford hatchback into the side of a fire truck., and 399 days since he emerged from the doors of his small-town hospital, not good as new, but with a new outlook on life.
He was on his way home to shave before heading to his dead-end job – wow, what a lifetime ago that was! Onion looks around his dorm room, as he takes a drag from his vape pen. The Assured for Men Twist-to-Open razor and the unmarked Chinese-made blade sit out on the top of his dresser; a reminder of his fortune to have been in the right place at the right time. As far as he might get into this hobby, he’ll never get rid of that razor. It was his lifeline.
Oscar, the man driving the town’s only fire truck that Onion slammed into, happened to have been drinking heavily and had a BAC of .32 at the time of the accident. The town wanted to keep that fact quiet, as he was the mayor’s son, so the city quietly paid all of Onion’s medical bills and gave him $85,000 to start a new life.
He sold mother’s house, and was determined to turn his life around. He moved to North Dakota, which had the cheapest college he could find, and enrolled in an English Literature program. He left all his drug use in his hometown. It’s weird starting college at the age of 41. You’re a pariah among the other students, who feel like you’ve failed at life, until they want you to buy a 30 pack of Old Milwaukee. Finding a partner is nigh impossible - anyone with any ambition packs up and leaves this town as soon as they receive their diploma, leaving the dusty plains behind them.
But, as any addict will tell you will happen, Onion quickly replaced his drug use with something else. Something even more nefarious than the methamphetamine that had defined his 30s.
Soap.
Wetshaving had saved his life. He could have a fresh start, solely because he was in an accident due to this new hobby, and he was determined to repay the hobby.
Packages arrived at his dorm room almost daily. Inside were plastic tubs with colorful labels and exotic-sounding names. Phoenix Artisan Accoutrements. Ariana and Evans. Henri et Victoria. Pinnacle Shaving. Lothur. Van Yulay. These packages caused his bank balance to deplete alarmingly fast, but he couldn’t help it - he had to collect them all, and when he had the opportunity to buy the Soap of the Gods, he did without hesitation. All 619 scents.
Onion walked over to the closet he used to store the fruits of his hobby, stepping over the laundry basket that contained the extent of his clothes. Opening the door, he was amazed at what he had amassed. At last count there were 829 tubs in this closet, with room for probably 200 more. He picked one labeled “Diver Down” off the shelf, opened the lid, and inhaled. Its lime and sultry spice notes were absolutely intoxicating. “How do they come up with such unique scents,” he wondered aloud. He had met the owner of this particular soap company once; one of the fondest memories so far of his new life.
After an hour of soap-smelling had gone by, he grabbed his backpack and headed to class, while thinking about what soap he would use today. He rubbed his sore shoulder, and decided to go with the Bolero Cedar Wood and Eucalyptus Cream when he could be back with his beloved soaps, as this was the soap that started it all.
Soap Theme Justification
Frugal Friday - Soap and Aftershave for $1.25. Nothing in my den is cheaper than that. Or worse
Post-Shave and Fragrance Relevance Notes
* Today’s theme is “cheapest stuff I own”
* The soap cost 62.5 cents plus tax. That’s $0.62 per oz. My next cheapest is Stirling, at $2.45 per oz.
* The aftershave cost 62.5 cents plus tax. That’s $0.62 per oz. My next cheapest is Stirling, at $4.01 per oz.
* Finally, the fragrance was $5 for an entire bottle. It does smell pretty much as I remember Hugo smelling. The base notes of cedar in the frag pair well with whatever they called cedar in the soap and aftershave. This comes out to $0.049/ml. Nothing else in my den is even close - my next cheapest is Kenneth Cole Reaction at $0.271/ml.