June 29, 2024
- Brush: Declaration Grooming - Jefferson Thaw B16 - 28mm Artisan Tied Badger
- Razor: Wolfman - WR2 1.15 w/WRH2
- Blade: Wilkinson Sword
- Lather: Stirling Soap Co. – Vanilla Sandalwood Soap
- Post Shave: Stirling Soap Co. – Vanilla Sandalwood Splash
- Fragrance: Tumi - Kinetic [--:-- GMT] EdP
^(If) I did it.
Is anyone here able to pinpoint one moment when their world almost came crumbling down? One moment where you realized that from that point on, nothing could ever possibly be the same? One moment, where you were accused of something so absolutely horrific, and you feared your good name and reputation that is beyond reproach may have been forever sullied?
We'll folks, I can tell you exactly when that moment was for me. It happened yesterday at 4:50PM EST. It was when u/Enndeegee pointed out to the world that I have hands. Big beautiful hands, that can both hold a shaving brush AND slather ~~lather~~ Nacho Cheese Sauce all over my face.
And because I used my big beautiful hands to lather on Wildcare Wednesday, Mr. Scrub, u/Enndeegee brought forth the accusation that could alter the very fabric of these Lather Games. An accusation so bold, it made all of r/wetshaving, stop and begin to wonder if I am a legitimate Champion or an I someone that plays fast and loose with the rules. You know the type of person he means, right? The type of person who would remove a vendor from a DNB list in exchange for free soap. Last year’s first runner-up, u/OnionMiasma, even called for me to have my title vacated and for me to give up my 2023 prize. As an act of defiance, I am using my 2023 prize brush today. These are incredibly serious accusations and something that no one should take lightly.
You see, I entered my hands as my brush for my SOTD markdown on Wildcard Wednesday, and since I didn’t pay money for my hands, he maintains they automatically became my least expensive “brush” in my den, and as such, I needed to use my hands as a brush for yesterday’s frugal shave to earn the Special Challenge’s .5 bonus points. But I didn’t. I used a brush from Dollar Tree that cost $1.25. And I can see how a simpleton like NDG would say something like that. And we all know that u/Enndeegee can’t spell, but I didn’t know he couldn’t read either. The rules to Frugal Friday clearly state: “Products obtained at a discount or for free should use their everyday price for this calculation rather than their discounted price.”
Sure, I didn’t pay money for these beautiful hands, but the fact I obtained them for free does not factor into The Frugal Friday Rules. Their everyday price is what matters. And I challenge anyone, anyone at all, to procure a set of hands like mine for less than the $1.25 I paid for my Dollar Tree brush. Do you want to know the actual value of hands? Well, I could just throw out any number, but I’ll let the lawyers at Parker Waichman LLP tell you: The USA National Average is $144,930 per hand. And remember, I entered both hands as part of my den, so we’re looking at a value of $289,860.
So, Mr. Scrub, please enlighten me: Which value is higher? $1.25 or $289,860?
I know you don’t usually think about things in American Freedom Dollars, so I’ll give you a minute to do the math. Don’t forget to carry the 1.
$1.25 is lower. The Assured for Men Dollar Tree Brush is indeed the least expensive brush in my shaving den. I rest my case. You can see yourself out.
I expect a full apology, and will be seeking damages for the pain and suffering I’ve experienced since your post. My reputation has suffered incalculable harm and all the little shavers that once looked up to me, may never see their Champion the same way again. I don’t know how you sleep at night. You should be ashamed of yourself.
Please don't bother replying. you're getting on my tits now.
BTW – I’m confused. Are you Los Dupe now? Or is he on your side? Are you still hunting him? Am I Los Dupe? Do we know? You have a lot of loose ends to tie up and the Games end tomorrow. You’re running out of time on this.
For the #FOF thing: The scent of Stirling’s Vanilla Sandalwood is a beautiful harmony of creamy vanilla and rich sandalwood. The sandalwood added an earthy depth to the sweet vanilla, creating a scent that is both comforting, sophisticated, and a little sweet. The scent is like a warm hug lingering just long enough to keep me enveloped in its cozy embrace. The sandalwood here is perfectly balanced with the vanilla, neither overpowering the other, but instead dancing together in olfactory harmony. To cap off the shave, I opted for TUMI Kinetic [--:-- GMT]. The frag took the sandalwood experience to a new level, infusing it with vibrant spice notes that complemented the smoky vanilla and sandalwood base. The sandalwood in Kinetic [--:-- GMT] truly shines through to provided a robust, grounding note that carried the sweet and spicy elements with damn near perfection. This was an absolute joy for me to use.
Challenge: I don’t know who won, but I can tell you that I hope I did. I’ve been going all out and never taking my foot off the gas. And I’ve been trying to play like I’m behind and have nothing to lose. I made it known that I want to be the Tom Brady of The Lather Games, so hopefully I showed that every single day. The competition has been tough - u/hugbckt truly stepped up this year and demonstrated what he’s capable of and u/MrTangerinesky played a stellar (well behaved) game as well. He is one of the most creative people on this sub and his brain works in a way that is great for The Lather Games. Avoiding Spite Shaves was probably better for both of us, even if it wasn’t as much fun… But winning is fun too. I wouldn’t be shocked if either one of those guys won. At this point, we all have done just about all we can do. One more day, shavers and shavettes! What a great ride it’s been!
For ROTY, it’s going to be u/bmac92.
For FOF, I think u/hugbckt.
For Photocontest: No comment.
My favorite posts (that weren’t mine): u/chronnoisseur42O turning himself purple, u/hugbckt’s Christmas Story, damn near everything that u/MrTangerinesky does
Soap Theme Justification: What’s that word after Vanilla? Oh yes, it’s Sandalwood! It’s right there in the name.
Relevant Post Shave & Fragrance: Tumi’s Kinetic [--:-- GMT] has a base of two scent notes: Smoky Vanilla & Sandalwood, which is obviously the two scent notes in the soap and splash I used.