June 28, 2024
- Brush: Stirling Boar 24mm
- Razor: ~~Assured For Men TTO Safety Razor~~
- Razor: Gillette 7 o'Clock Tech Clone (India)
- Blade: Astra Green (1)
- Lather: Derby - Lemon
- Post Shave: Aqua Velva - Ice Sport
- Fragrance: Five Below - CEO Pour Homme
I was not looking forward to this day.
The soap is fine. I traded this soap with another r/wetshaving member, but kept back enough for today's shave, because at 4.49 USD for 3.3 oz., it was by FAR the cheapest soap I own. It's also not great. And smells a bit like lemon Pledge. But it's fine.
The aftershave is fine. It smells really generic and chemical-y. But it's fine. It goes away quickly.
The frag is surprisingly nice. It is a pretty faithful recreation of Hugo Boss that I found at Five Below last summer.
The blade is fine. I don't usually use Astras, but they're fine.
This fucking razor though. It's terrible. The gaps are all over the place. It rattles and chatters and just can't give a good shave. It wasn't even worth the $1 I paid for it. And I couldn't come up with a reason why I haven't thrown it away.
So I was going to do that. But then I realized that the asshole judges might say that if it's in my garbage, it's still in my collection, because it could still be used.
Ok! I'll throw it in my trash compactor!
But then I realized that it's not 1988, and my house doesn't have a trash compactor.
How can I ensure that it's not usable, so it won't be considered part of my collection?
Just then, u/ktturtlesue asked if I wanted to go to a Lobster Truck. For those of you who haven't been to a Lobster Truck, it's like a taco truck, but with lobster. Sometimes, like in this case, there are lobster tacos. The tacos are optional, the lobster isn't.
Anyway - I was struck by a bolt of brilliance. As Americans, we're legally required to drive giant vehicles that weigh approximately 2 metric tons. The vehicle could easily dispose of a 2 oz. mostly plastic razor so that it would be completely unusable, and no longer in my collection.
I waited until she was going to back the van out, and slid the razor underneath her tire. She then backed over it. And then went forward just to make sure it was completely dead. Yep, it's unusable now
So now, I'm using a cheap Gillette Tech clone that u/PhilsophicalZombie sent me. It retails for $6.99, and is definitely cheap. But it shaves just fine. Now given that hideous razor is gone, it felt so dang good to save money by wet shaving today. Just don't look in the first drawer of my bathroom. Or the second, or third. Under the sink is bad too, as is my office closet. Definitely haven't spent $600 on shipping through PirateShip in the last two years, plus all the smushes I've sent all over the globe. Nope.