June 26, 2024
- Brush: Oral B Braun Pro 500 14mm Bert and Ernie Custom Edition #RUNT #SMOLL
- Razor: Blackland Razors Blackbird
- Blade: Gillette Platinum (1)
- Lather: Orajel Kids - Anti-Cavity Toothpaste with Fluoride Natural Berry - Soap
- Post Shave: Listerine - Cool Mint - Antiseptic Splash
- Fragrance: Listerine - Cool Mint - Breath Spray
We are back for a third installment of my review series, where I try to help all wet shavers find ways to avoid big soap and still get a clean, comfortable shave.
In 2022 I endeavored to determine if baby food is a suitable substitute for the massively overpriced shaving soaps and creams we all use. Spoiler alert: it is. Nice and slick, and had a refreshing spinach and onion scent. In this review I attempted to make my own homemade toner, which I don’t recommend. It’s very time consuming, and time is, as we all know, money.
In 2023 I brought hard-hitting video evidence that big oil can actually help you save money over the criminals at big soap, and showed that you too can have a nice slick shave using the motor oils at your local big box store or fueling station. I did determine, however, that gasoline is a poor substitute for an effective aftershave splash, as many, many showers were required to remove that scent from my face.
This year, I am going to evaluate that while big soap is only here to fleece your wallets and empty your bank accounts as you chase after new bases and scents, can big oral hygiene help you with your shaving ritual as well? Could you combine tooth care and shaving into one process using the same easily-purchased materials? Find out after the jump.
For today’s shave, I assembled some of the finest tooth care and shaving implements on the market. For my brush, I’m using the Oral B Braun Pro 500 14mm brush. This is the “Bert and Ernie” Custom Edition in that in order to convince my daughter to brush her teeth we all got Sesame Street toothbrushes at one point courtesy of some stickers. I purchased this toothbrush and replacement heads with my own money from the Costco in Mount Prospect, Illinois. The Burt and Ernie stickers were purchased with my own money from Amazon.
For the soap, I’m using Orajel Kids Anti-Cavity Toothpaste with Fluoride, Natural Berry flavor. This is a more obscure soap, but Shallot and Scallion hate mint or bubble gum, so we’re trying different types of toothpastes since the one they liked is discontinued. They said this tastes “kind of like garbage, Dad”. I purchased this toothpaste using my own money from Walgreens in Prospect Heights, IL.
For the aftershave, I’m using Listerine Cool Mint Antiseptic Splash. This was purchased with my own credit card at Target in Arlington Heights, IL. I’ve not paid the Target Red Card bill yet though, so technically I should disclose that I haven’t actually had funds leave my account. Also, I don’t even pay that bill, u/ktturtlesue does, so I guess she bought this for me? That does not affect my objectivity in this review.
For the frag, I’m using Listerine Cool Mint Breath Spray. This was purchased using my own money at Walgreens in Buffalo Grove, IL.
Now that’s settled… on to the shave.
I placed an amount of soap in my bowl equivalent to two walnuts. I know most here use almond-sized amounts of soap, but I also know “more soap, more water” to be what has worked for me in the past, so I decided to err on the side of too much soap. I could always add more water later. This amounted to approximately ½ of a tube of toothpaste.
I started building a proto lather, but it was very clear that I needed more water.
I was following u/cosmobarber’s precision lathering technique, so I slowly built the lather, adding water as necessary
Once I had a lather that was as good as I was going to get and does not at all resemble semen, it was time to move to my face.
I started with scooping up the soap and painting strokes to get the soap on my face. Once I had my face covered, I used my battery-operated shaving brush to lather the soap further, which provided a gentle exfoliation that I really appreciated..
Once the lather was ready, I moved to shaving.. If I’m honest, the slickness was not great, and there was a lot of stinging. I finished up above my lip, where I ended up with 4 weepers, finished my chin, and then rinsed to move to the after shave portion of today’s shave. Using the Blackbird with toothpaste, like milk while running, was a bad choice.
I poured a healthy splash into my hands and applied it directly to my face. Great Odin’s raven, that stung. Like a bunch of tiny hornets stinging me all over my face. After it dried, I was left with skin that felt clean and replenished, and a calming mint scent.
Lastly, I went with a spritz of the frag on each wrist and four on my neck for good measure. If I were reviewing this on Fragrantica, I’d say its main accord is mint, with top, middle, and base notes of mint. I’d say the longevity is moderately strong, sillage is enormous. I’d classify this as a more-male scent, with great value, as it was approximately $5.
Overall, the post-shave items in this shave were great. I’d leave the toothpaste for your teeth, and pick up another bottle of Pennzoil for shaving purposes. Given that a tube of toothpaste costs what, $10? This was a pretty expensive shave for the quality that I got. I rate this shave 42 jackalopes out of 87.
For brush cleaning- in this brush I'll throw the head away and put a new one on. Normally, I lather the brush twice with Dawn, and then follow up with a mild-scented shaving soap for a third lather. Typically I use NO Monarch.