LG SOTD Jun 25 2024 - Runaway Christmas in July

photocontest

Theme: DIY

• Brush: Alpha Brush & Shaving Co. - Bully Boy 28mm #TOLL
• Razor: Rex - Konsul #ADJUSTABLE #CNC
• Blade: Voskhod - Teflon Coated [3]
• Lather: House of Mammoth - 福 (FÚ DÀO) - sample
• Post Shave: House of Mammoth - Santał Noir - AfterShave
• Fragrance: Meleg - Honey Deer Musk - sample

ON THE RUN

“We saw what you did”
“Huh?”
“Yesterday, in front of the Stadium. Didn’t think about the surveillance cameras all around, did you?”
“Oops!”

This is how it started. 
Getting off the grid. 
Not so easy in 2024.

I never thought I would appreciate so much the bad cell reception here in the countryside.
Try to trace my recently-shaved ass now, motherfuckers!

Banned from home. 
Hunted down by a faceless authoritarian system.
Now I understand how u/Surikem and u/AirBudRuler must feel like.

I have lost a lot, and They know it.
I’ll have to be smart and not use any digital payment.
I’m concerned I don’t have enough cash to stay under the radar for much longer.

What I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career.
Skills that make me a nightmare for people like them. 
I have watched American films and series.
More than ten thousand hours of them.

I am now proficient.
There are so many secrets I have learned over years of obsessive watching.
Like how to disappear.
A hoodie and a baseball cap.
I just put on my Cap of Shadows, and POOF!
Invisible. Better than Frodo with the Ring.
Yeah, science! Who’s faceless now, bitches?

I am now here in this undisclosed location, ready to apply everything I learned from MacGyver.
I have all I need for today in this shed near a countryside farm.

But I can’t stay here for long. Gotta keep moving.
What about the Lather Games remaining SOTDs, you may ask.

Watching films taught me that one of the greatest risks when you are on the run is shaving with underwhelming supplies. I didn’t want to end up like Roger Thornhill, so I’ve planned my outs.
For decades.

Also, keeping well groomed here is not as challenging as it seems to be overseas.
I know about many (more or less secret) stashes of shaving supplies all over central Italy.
And as I said: should I be missing anything, I’ll just MacGyver it.

I just have to keep running. I know I can lose Them.
I have a full day head start on Them, which is more than I need.
I’ve got friends in every town and village from here to Rome, I speak a dozen dialects, know every local custom. I’ll blend in, disappear. They’ll never see me again.

THROWING THEM OFF THE SCENT

“The nostalgic scent of mandarins and sweet flowers fill the house with a clean slate and blossoming auspiciousness to start the new year”.

Ha!
While They will be looking for a fake trail of hints leading to a mountain Winter Cabin location, and eponymous soap sample, I have actually lathered with a sample of Fu Dao which I had hidden under a China tree during last Chinese New Year celebrations.
No one saw me digging it up, as I am still wearing my Cap of Shadows.

What a pleasure to shave with u/mammothben’s base while on the run! After yesterday’s quickie under the rain, I enjoyed today’s so much that I got distracted and ended up doing a full three-pass, which also allowed me to mix with the olfactory environment here on the hills. The smell of firecrackers blends in with the scent of exhausted fireworks from last night’s pyrotechnic show. If Their hounds were on my tracks already, this should throw them off.

But I wanted to make extra sure, so generously splashed with my bottle of Santał Noir AS, which - having read u/J33pGuy13’s piss-pourri comment months ago - I had saved just for this kind of emergency. 

While I can’t feel any urinal scent, I have to remember that America films and series postulate tracking dogs have uncanny special powers, and I must trust my fellow wetshavers when they call "piss" what I would just consider as a nice cassis / fresh coniferous accord.

In any case, there’s no way Their hounds can trace me from now on.
The smell identical to u/J33pGuy13's piss is going to create some funny confusion...

My next destination is an old palace with a large ballroom, and an adjacent wardrobe made with hardwood. The wardrobe has a false back, behind which lies a secret room used to hide male members of the family during the hunt for forced workers by the occupying soldiers during WWII.

To perfectly blend into the scent of the wardrobe, I sprayed myself with Meleg’s Honey Deer Musk. As they say in their official materials:

“Imagine the heart of a Parisian winter. Aristocrats would infuse the suede lining of their fur coats with resins and musks before attending an elegant ballroom dance. The heat of the dance would arouse the notes of civet, deer musk, beeswax, suede, and fur”

Even hours late, Meleg fragrance’s sillage keeps projecting a sweet note of beeswax-polished wood. No one will be able to discern my scent from the furniture.

FOF

I am sending this from a different location, using a VPN. I should be fine, at least until tomorrow.

TODAY'S THEME: all scents make reference to winter (Chinese New Year, Christmas, Parisian Winter).

TODAY'S CHALLENGE: I shaved wearing my Cap of Shadows, also the primary cloaking device I am using while on the run

ROTY