LG Day 9- Shave and a Haircut- Two Bits
- Brush: Semogue 610 #SMOLL
- Razor: Merkur 37C #ZAMAC
- Blade: Rapira Platinum Lux (4)
- Lather: Proraso - Menthol & Eucalyptus
- Post Shave: Proraso - Menthol & Eucalyptus splash
- Post Shave: Zingari Man - Unscented AS balm
During Small Business Saturday, I got a call on my phone from an Anonymous number. I tend to let these go to voicemail, but yesterday I let my curiosity get the best of me and answered it on the third ring. When I answered I was met with a "Boungiorno Mister...ehhhhh...loudmusicboy." Uh oh, had the Polizia in Rome finally tracked me down to talk about that swimming escapade in the Trevi Fountain? Or maybe it was my moped misadventure down the Spanish Steps? When I was just about to poop in my boxers just a week bit, he introduced himself as a representative from BIG SOAP. Apparently, BIG SOAP has been stalking this sub since last year's failed attempt at naming rights and even a sponsor role in the Lather Games.
"Signor Lucifero", I think that's what he said his name was and I'm pretty sure it's an alias, went on to tell me how disappointed BIG SOAP was to not have a role in this year's games. "We make prodotti fantastici (according to Google Translate- Fantastic products)..." as he went on and on about the 'classic artisans' and their legacies in the wetshaving world. I got a Master's-level course in the history of wetshaving. As the conversation went on, I became enthralled with his tales of BIG SOAP's contributions to the world. His tone was mesmerizing, it was almost as if I was listening to the dulcet tones of u/VisceralWatch. I soon found myself shaking my head in agreement with his take on the wetshaving world. I even began wondering if our man VW had actually sold his soul to the devil and was he actually 'Signor Lucifero'. Does VW even know his soul is Italian??
And then before I knew it, he was making me an offer I couldn't refuse. "Use Proraso on Barbershop Day." If I swore to do that, he promised me that the BIG SOAP famiglia would take care of me. He said something about offshore bank accounts, a villa on the Amalfi Coast and a lifetime supply of whatever soap I wanted. I was powerless by that point. And my wife would be pissed if I turned down a free (is there really anything in this world that is free?) villa in Italy. So there I was this morning, calmly pulling down the Proraso Green and muttering over and over again that it's "il più grande di sempre" (after I felt like I was speaking in tongues, I Google translated my rambling as "the greatest of all time). And the shave was beautiful. The most glorious shave I've ever had. I even thought my bathroom turned into the Sistine Chapel for a brief moment as I was pretty sure I was hearing angels singing.
So here I sit, waiting for another call from 'Signor Lucifero' aka u/VisceralWatch. My wife has already started packing. I was assured by my new friend that our dogs would have no problem getting over with us, so they're ready to go as well. Farewell, Maine. It's been a ride, but a life sipping wine on a cliff overlooking Italian waters calls to me. Arrivederci!
And now back to a moment of reality- The Daily Challenge- 7/32. I suck at this kind of thing. And no, I didn't use Google to help me. Only Google translate.
Try to enjoy your day and remember to be kind to one another.
- Edited after posting to come off sounding like less of an asshole.