Lather Games Day 5- Canned Shave Goop Day AKA Djudges Revenge Day
- Prep: Hot Shower - Preshave
- Brush: Shore Shave 26mm Motherlode
- Razor: Razorock Gamechanger .84
- Blade: Astra SP Green (4)
- Lather: Barbasol - Soothing Aloe
- Post Shave: Mäuer & Wirtz - SIR Irisch Moos AS
Forget what I said about Almonday because TODAY is the day I was least looking forward to. Last year I think I dodged the bullet with this day by using Gillette's Planet Kind that came in the tin. That allowed me to use a brush and have a damn civilized shave. But this year?? What kind of black magic fuckery is this?? People still use this stuff?
This can was purchased at either my local grocery store or CVS several years ago by my stepson and has lived in my basement shower since. Unfortunately, I have never been able to get my stepson, who is an amazing dude and a friggin' genius, to see the light and change the error of his ways of using this shit. But I digress. I haven't used a can of spray goo since I started wetshaving 15 years ago. I probably haven't used Barbasol in like 25 years. So this should be a trip down memory lane.
A memory lane filled with sadness and grief and disgust opened before me upon the first squirt. Thick, gooey and uninviting, the pile of congealed whateverthefuckthatis laid in my hand. I then had to remember how to apply this to my face since I wasn't using a brush and more sadness ensued. There was no lovely sensation of swirling animal hairs across my face in a meditative way, just my man hands smearing this unholy creation across my frowning mug. Yes, I was actually frowning. Yes, I had hate in my eyes and blackness in my soul. This product literally sucked the joy from me within seconds of hitting my palm. I shit you not, there was no joy to be found. I stared at myself in the mirror with this thick ugliness on my face and thought "How did it come to this? And how did I ever allow myself to sink so low in my youth?".
The shave was...functional. Surprisingly, the Gamechanger felt perfectly mild shaving through this surface that had none of the slickness that I am accustomed to. But the post-shave? (Shakes his fits at the Shaving Overlords) The post-shave made Cella Red seem moisturizing and that stuff puckers my skin. God damn my face was tight. My face was Joan Rivers after 12 facelifts tight. Surprisingly, the Sir Irisch Moos, which is new to the den, did a lovely job of loosening things up (it's way too muggy here to add a balm to the mix). The scent of the splash brought a smile to my face. I've been wanting a bottle of this stuff for years out of sheer curiosity and I pulled the trigger recently. Joy began to return as the fougere-y notes hit my nostrils and I could feel my soul lightening as I skipped out of the bathroom. After taking my SOTD pic, I immediately brought this can of soul-sucking darkness back down to the basement shower. This bastardization should never see the bright light of day. No wonder there is so much sadness and gloom in this world thanks to products like these.
Today's Challenge: Whew, now that I have crawled out of the darkness that was shaving with Barbasol, it is time for me to come into the light scent-wise. Honestly, I'm a simple scent kind of guy and my wife is super sensitive to scents as well. She mostly hates my soap and aftershave collection, but the few things she likes are simple and bright.
My scent notes would be:
Lemongrass, ylang ylang and wild orange as the top notes. Drop a little Bay in there. If I can get a slight (non-menthol) cooling note in that, I would be happy. I'm pretty sure the wife would be too.
Have a great day all!