12-08 - An unusual pairing
- Brush: Yaqi 'Purple Haze' w/ 24mm Mew Brown knot
- Razor: 1953-54 Gillette 'Aristocrat Junior'
- Blade: Gillette Nacet (12)
- Lather: House of Mammoth - Mood Indigo - Soap
- Post Shave: House of Mammoth - Mood Indigo - Balm
- Fragrance: Proraso - Wood and Spice - Cologne
Ever wishing to broaden my horizons (rather antithetical to AA, I know) I tried the popular American snack Takis this week. A shop opened up here recently carrying a whole range of East Asian spices, condiments and delicacies, and it also happens to have a very small section of international snacks on offer. My wife and I went to have a look after I spotted it on one of my lunch breaks, and we were pleasantly surprised that it's apparently the only shop in this entire town that carries craaaaaazy spices like marjoram, juniper berries and MSG. That's been a big help to our cooking so far as I'm still dodging the day when I have to order my fucking food from Amazon. Plus, y'know, supporting small local businesses.
Anyway, back to the Takis. When we went to have a look around and buy some spices, we also grabbed a bag of the 'Crunchy Fajitas' flavour for a laugh. We'd heard of these before, but never tried them as American snacks aren't too common down here, and if they are they tend to carry a pretty hefty price tag. This bag did, too - we spent nearly $9 on the experience I'm about to describe.
First impressions were interesting. The chips are coated in a powdery mixture I can only describe as the unholy lovechild of radioactive fallout and rust, with its bright red colour and the uncanny ability to cling to your fingers forever after even a single instance of skin contact. So, instantly, the chopsticks came out. I'll be damned if I ruin my nice shirt with this demon powder, and putting some distance between myself and these chips helped keep my next load of laundry from turning bright red.
Then came actually trying one. Now, I know there are a fair few Americans here among the sub's users, so I'm sure a lot of you know these snacks well. Allow me, then, to ask you a question. What the fuck? You ever bite into a lemon? Ever have that lemon then proceed to kick the shit out of your tongue and douse itself with hydrochloric acid? If you haven't (and I'd be surprised if you had - you should go to the news with that sort of experience), trying to eat one of these things is probably the next closest thing. They're not even spicy, despite what the packet claims. They're just the embodiment of tang. Acidic from the very moment they touch your tongue, these things aren't just flavoured with lime juice, they're like a red powder-coated Warhead candy. I'll say, though, that the tortilla chip aspect of this tortilla chip is actually quite nice. When the insanity that is the initial flavour dies down, you're left with quite a nice corn taste, and on that note they're pretty alright.
I know, they're marketed as "intense" and I've seen plenty of videos of people sharing similar experiences to what I've described. But it does make me wonder if the American palate has been so deadened by constant assaults of corn syrup that only the chip equivalent of a chemical plant accident can still provoke any sort of reaction from one's taste buds.
Naturally, I ate the entire bag. Shit's interesting, and I like interesting experiences. And maybe a little pain. I'm doing AA after all. And no, I didn't put any of the powder in my lather. I'm not that insane.
Tags: #MammothMafia23 #UNCHALLENGE