July 13, 2023 – Patchouli Sucks

• Brush: Summer Break Soap “Dundy” 26mm Motherlode
• Razor: Blackland Blackbird Lite
• Blade: Gillette Silver Blue
• Lather: Tallow + Steel – Shag
• Post Shave: Stirling Soap Co. – Island Man

My intention was to take a quick shower, shave, write this up, and go to bed. It’s been a long day and I’m tired. But, well, Shag is absolutely awful so I had to switch some of those things around. My long day got longer as I was forced to shave and then shower like some kind of monster.

u/tsrblke ran a very generous PIF and smushed a bunch of this out last month to help those of us in need of a Patchouli scent. I had assumed he was just being kind. I now know that he’s just a wise man and wanted this forsaken soap out of his house and this was an easy way to do that while looking like the good guy. Well, sir, I’m onto you because what you sent to my house is nothing short of an abomination. Literally as bad as a turd covered in burnt hair - nothing like desire.

It lathered fine and my shave was smooth as efficient. I used a synthetic brush because there is NO WAY I want that stank on a badger, letalone a badger as nice as a B16 or V19. No, sir, that will not be happening.

So, shaved, should have held my breath, then showered and scrubbed that garbage off my face. Upon exiting the shower, I found my wife’s favorite scent – Island Man – and splashed that on me. No one should have to smell that horror, let alone the woman I love most. Island man is clean, delicious, and delightful – it could not be more opposite than Shag, thank goodness.

Anyway. I do appreciate the smush being sent and this is the beauty and pain that is the lather games – never would I have ever learned how bad something can be if it weren’t for this beautiful competition; and, well, that’s both a beautiful and painful reality.

I was considering something nice to play during this shave, but, I realized that the most appropriate song to go with this shave in particular would have to be I hate everything about you. I dedicate this to you, T+S Shag. You’re awful. And yes, I know this song is about being conflicted and hating everything about someone and yet loving them. To be clear, the only line that applies in this situation is “I hate everything about you.” But, it’s true. And, this song takes me back to high school and unlike many of you I look back fondly on those days. My life certainly didn’t peak in high school, but, I have some great memories with some great friends and music like this from the early 2000s really plays on the feels.

FOF Haiku of the day

Patchouli is nast’
Island Man puts up the mast
Antithetical